Kenisha Q. Smith
The Journey that will continue for a Lifetime. . .
Prior to my pregnancy I was like most and in denial about being out of shape. I should’ve known better considering I had been a track athlete in both high school & college. But unfortunately I thought everything was ok until my first pre-natal appointment where I was politely told I weighed 192lbs. I never claimed to be a mathematical genius but I knew what that was going to mean once it was all said & done. . . .and true to form I was RIGHT! Once I delivered my beautiful baby girl and happily went for my post-natal appointment I was floored to know I was still so overweight (245lbs).
I was completely devastated but I still didn’t do anything about it until 6months later when I finally decided Enough was ENOUGH!!! Unfortunately I was in terrible physical shape and all I could muster up the energy & strength to do was walk which is what I did for months until I was brave enough to rejoin the gym. While working on my physical condition I began flooding myself with knowledge regarding my nutrition. I read website after website, multiple books & magazines and anything else I could get my hands on. During this time I went through a tough divorce but it was the drive to be a better person inside & out that kept me going.
Within 18-20months I had lost 75-80lbs which was the bulk of my weight and that’s when the REAL challenge began. You would think that challenge would be the fine tuning to drop the remaining 20lbs and don’t get me wrong it was tough but the bigger challenge was my MENTAL state. I had to start seeing myself as something other than the BIG(GER) GIRL. I’ve always been the tallest, thickest, etc and I thought that’s who I was always meant to be but now I was seeing that wasn’t really me and now that I was armed with the right tools to change my life & the lives of my family I had to learn how to be this new person I’d physically evolved into. But again I am human and I have struggles just like everyone else!! I often look in the mirror and I still see that BIG(GER) girl, I often have self loathing thoughts instead of self loving and this is all common as you go through such a big transformation. It doesn’t matter how many years you’ve been thinner, fit, etc you know that somewhere deep down inside that other person lives and you’re doing everything you can quiet that voice and keep that person at bay. Sharing these feelings, how to overcome them, how to accept them & move past them is very therapeutic for me and very eye opening. . .
So now we are now 6yrs + into the journey and it still continues. . .I finally realized a goal I set for myself back in the beginning which was to grace the stage as a figure competitor. With 100+ lbs lost I not only did I step on stage but I looked like I BELONGED then I was blessed & fortunate enough to place in the Top 5 & Top 3 of both my shows this year. But then I experienced the most wonderful feeling which was realizing my Life’s Purpose which is to help others find their way to a healthy lifestyle. I want everyone to understand they too can do it no matter their circumstances, physical condition, age, etc . . . IT CAN BE DONE!!
During my journey I have experienced several trials & tribulations which included but aren’t limited to the following: a divorce, an emotionally & verbally abusive relationship, being so strapped financially that eating beans & tuna was a luxury for me and still I pushed forward and kept my eye on the prize. I have the emotional ups & downs, the feelings of flying high and those of not being worthy, the thoughts of am I enough, have I done enough, will I be fat again, etc. and I’m here to share that with the World. Everyone needs to know they’re NOT alone as they traverse the highs & lows of this Journey to a new Life. So I’ve closed the books on 2011 and moving full steam ahead into 2012 where I will finally launch my own business that I’ve been toying with for years and I will tirelessly devote myself to assisting others with not only loosing the physical weight but the emotional/mental weight also and once I do that my Life’s Purpose & Dream will be realized.
I started off sitting on the couch over 6yrs ago with my laptop resting on my huge stomach and began researching figure competitions and what it would take and I said “I will do this!! I will be here one day!!” After dealing with a divorce, major financial issues and all other kinds of setbacks I finally realized what was a Dream which is now REALITY!!
- FAP Mohegan Sun – Fitness Model Tall
- FAP Charlotte – Fitness Model Tall
- WBFF – Figure Tall 5th place
- FAP Mohegan Sun – Figure Tall 3rd place
- Working on a few things so kinda keeping the competition schedule under wraps b/c I’m unsure if it will manifest or not but Trust Me there are some shows I have my eyes on 😉